Not sure whether I made the right choice to share about my personal stuff in my blog, but I guess is fine to talk about relationship once in a while? Not everyone knows that I just broke up with my boyfriend, it's been 3 weeks ago. We both made the decision together after a serious consideration, but I will keep the reason privately. 1 year 6 months, ended. And for the last 2 months I am in UK, we din't make it. Love can't beat distance. Is pointless to discuss the fault is on who, and no one is qualified to judge.
No girls likes to start over with a new guy, getting to know a guy all over again, learning how to feel comfortable, going through that awkward phase of being shy around a new guy again. So what I can say is, I put a lot of effort in maintaining our long distance relationship. If you know me so well, you probably know I love to stick with old things. I love to stick with the guy I've already with. I appreciate what we've been through and this is something irreplaceable.
A distance between UK and Malaysia,we are 6544.8 Miles apart. Long distance relationship is definitely not an ideal one,and sucks! So that's how Videocall/ Facetime/Wechat have become our daily channel to communicate.
We spent countless hours just talking through the screen or the phone. I can't touch him. I cant hug him when I need him the most. But I can feel him. Look at the photos, we smiled so happily. We were once happy to be together. And the most important thing is TRUST. I can't date him like previously, I am absent for all his life, and what still hold us together is TRUST. My watch is set to his Malaysia time while my phone is set to my own UK time. One of us will always has to sacrifice our night due to the different time zone.
I remember I hugged him really tightly in the airport. I said:"I can't guarantee that our long distance relationship might work,but we will try our best. I wont give up as long as you don't" I felt so insecure at that moment but I tried to convenience myself, we can go through this stage! But once in while,as a girl I will over-thinking. Insecurity, fear and being too sensitive. I missed him, I missed how I hug him like a cola bear. And I complained.
In the airport
Broke up is the worst stage to go. It's hurt I swear! I cried throughout the night, alone. I texted my mom, my dad, my aunt. I spoke to them, I said I just broke up but I was fine. In fact I am not fine at all. As I grew up, I know that I should be good enough in handling my emotion. But I just can't. I teared. But I never regret in any relationship because each of them made me stronger.
I feel sad whenever I think of he is no longer belongs to me. I've been so emotional. I eat a lot. I sleep a lot. I thought we were good, yey at the beginning. But a long distance relationship can't last longer. I am stuck in moving on now. Miserable and all the sleepless night.
If you can't commit in this relationship, don't make a promise. I've told you once, please take me seriously. If when until I stop trying, which means I am not going back anymore. It's hurt to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on. And I choose the simplest way to stay happy, letting go of the things that makes me sad.People come into your life for a reason, things happen for a reason as well. I still thanks god, because he has assist me through difficulty, he once gave me a lot of loves, support and guidance in emotionally & physically. Even now we are back to the original zone, FRIEND. We bring the relationship to an end. And I understand that I have to overcome all this shit, its time to move on.
Thank you for giving me unbelievable amount of joy, and giving me a lesson. I learnt. Every single relationship teach you a lifetime lessons, and time will eventually heal you. You have to set yourself free, and wait for the best one to come!